The Eating Thing

My obsession over what my kids eat, how much, how often, etc. started the second Meena was born.  The more-difficult-than-advertised nursing--Is she putting on weight fast enough?  Her cheeks are round and pink, but still...do you think she's eating enough?  Compulsively graphing her weight on the official Pediatric Growth Chart just to be sure.

Followed by formula--How many ounces did she drink?  When?  Are her cheeks round enough?  Are her legs chubby enough?  More compulsive graphing.

Followed by solid food--this was much easier...until she turned 2.  And then, she became incredibly picky, almost overnight.

(My son, for the record, will happily gobble up just about anything you put in front of him except hummus or quinoa)

The almost-4-year-old continues her pickyness, and I continue to obsess--Is she eating enough?  I hear that pre-schoolers have "on meals" and "off meals"; what will this meal be?  When was her last "on meal"?  Why won't she eat any fruit or veggies (unless cleverly disguised in hummus, macaroni and cheese or pizza--my food processor gets a work-out almost daily)?  What did I do wrong?  T-Mobile eats almost everything, especially raw fruits and veggies, so it mustn't be my fault.  Unless it is...

This will continue until the day I die, I'm sure.  And, even then, I'll be in heaven bouncing around on poofy clouds, peering down at Meena and T-Mobile's dinner plates, running my silent tally of how many glasses of milk they drank today, how many servings of fruits and veggies, protein and whole grain.

Meanwhile, I create bizarre meals, like the one we're having tonight.  A combination of having not grocery shopped in a while and a desire to only put healthy options on the table in the event that Meena decides tonight is an "on meal".

Tonight's Menu:

• Teriyaki baked tofu
• Caprese salad (with ingredients from my garden)
• Cooked carrots
• Fingerling potatoes with chives (more from the garden)

My guess: she will gobble up all the tofu and 5 carrot bites.  He will eat it all.

Happy Campers

Fabulous Husband, the kiddos and I went camping with a friend and her little man last week.  We did all sorts of amazing things, but my favorite parts are the little moments that happen.

For example, Meena woke up early one morning with a lot of energy, so we went for a walk around the campground.  In the quiet,  she told me about things she noticed.  My favorite was her discovery in the puddle.  It had rained during the night and the puddles were plentiful and vast.  In the stillness, they reflected what was above them flawlessly.  One puddle reflected a blue sky and tree branches with leaves.  Meena's description: "Mom, look!  It's the bottom of the sky!"

I love the words kids use.  They're perfectly descriptive and come from such an honest place.  The words they use don't match what I would say, yet they communicate the exact essence.

The day after we got back, T-Mobile started Pre-school (!!!).  He was excited, but after 5 days of vacation, he was having a bit of a hard time.  He asked me if I could sit with him for a few minutes while he ate breakfast, so I pulled up a toddler-sized chair.  I rubbed his back and he sniffed, saying "When a few minutes is over, I'm going to miss you."  He walked me to the door to leave and the tears started, but when his new teacher came over and said, "I'm so excited to have you join the Pre-school class!" he beamed and ran off to finish breakfast.  And, just like that, I'm a mom of 2 Pre-schoolers.

The Horse-Pistol

My dad has a great way of making me laugh just when I need it most (another miracle of the daddy/daughter relationship).  I remember him joking when my grandma was going into the hospital for a minor procedure that she was going to the horse-pistol.  It lightened my mood and it made me worry less.  But, last week when T-Mobile went to the hospital, nobody was laughing or joking or making light.

My little man and I headed to the ER at Children's on Sunday afternoon, and I was prepared for battle.  I expected a long wait.  I expected lots of crying kids with snot running down their faces.  I expected crabby, exhausted parents who probably hadn't slept in a few days (much like my own sleep deprived state).  I expected crabby, unsympathetic hospital employees who really didn't care how much pain my kid was in.  I was dead wrong on all counts.

We checked in and plunked down in a waiting room with only 1 other family in it.  Nobody was crying.  Nobody seemed crabby.  We were 2 pages into "Click Clack Moo" when our turn came.  T-Mobile stepped up onto the scale proudly, like the big boy he is.  I started digging in the diaper bag for my wallet, which I slowly realized I had left at home.  Apparently, in the 10 minute chaos leading to our trip (me on Mayo Clinic Symptom Checker--which you absolutely must check out.  WAY better than WebMD.  Anyway...canceling my flight for later that afternoon, me packing too many diapers in the diaper bag and Fabulous Husband printing out directions to the ER and then unpacking to a reasonable number of diapers, books and snacks) I managed to leave my wallet on the kitchen counter.  I said as much to the triage nurse, who didn't care at all.

5 minutes later, we were taken to a private room where T-Mobile almost instantly got an IV plugged into him (NIGHTMARE) and got whisked off for a CT-Scan.  15 minutes later, the doctor came in and announced that no! he did not have some awful, life-threatening disease, but that we were not going home that night.  We went home 5 days later with a lot to celebrate and some good lessons.

1. There is nobody like family.  From the grandparents who watched our daughter, unexpectedly, for a week and the ones who visited daily and walked Jazzmine faithfully without a question, to the daily Facebook posts and phone calls and emails, to the dinners and banana bread delivered to the hospital to all the cards and gifts
2. My friends and co-workers are incredible
3. The staff at Children's are actually angels dressed in medical garb.  Seriously...every single one
4. It's important to ask for THE IV chick--the one who has been poking kids for 20 years.  That is the one you want, trust me
5. T-Mobile is unbelievably charming, even on his darkest days.  All the doctors and nurses were wrapped around his little finger.  Mom too :)

I have to admit, that as sad as I was that T-Mobile was so sick and in terrible pain, a tiny little part of me thoroughly enjoyed a whole week of cuddling with my little man, interrupted only by doctor visits and nurses taking T-Mobile's blood pressure.  That tiny part of me was NOT my back, but that is beside the point.  We watched movies and took walks and spent hours in the playroom.  There were so many magical, special moments.  Moments where T-Mobile seemed oblivious to the pain and forgot that he hadn't eaten in nearly a week.  He just played, with that big, beautiful smile that captures my heart anew every time I see it.  

The hospital sent us home with 2 medical play bags full of things like latex gloves, syringes, cotton balls, gauze, hairnets, bandaids, etc.  Meena asked me about the "plastic" on T-Mobile's arm.  I figured out that she meant how did all that medical stuff apply to where we'd been all week (no kids under 5 were allowed).  So, one by one, she pulled items out of the bag and we talked about them.  I showed her some pictures I'd taken that showed his IV.  Then, she asked T-Mobile about the IV.  "It was owie" he said, and then showed Meena the 4 places he'd been poked.  "It was owie" he said again.  Meena looked at him and seemed to understand.

There is so much to celebrate.  T-Mobile is healthy and back to normal and so is his family.

In Gratitude

I’m flying home today from a 5-day retreat in Boston. If I told you what I did there, you’d think I was a big fat freak, so instead I will tell you what I took away.


Except first I need to tell you about the food. In a word: exquisite. 4 tables of food for 27 of us—unbelievable. At table 1: multiple salads, including Caesar, spinach with berries and vinegrette, and build your own. At table 2: cooked vegetables that actually tasted good. I can tell you honestly that my cauliflower never, ever tastes like that. Table 3: main dishes, including squash risotto (jump for joy…my fav!!!!!). Table 4: dessert. I ate Boston cream pie because I was in Boston and a new friend said it was NOT like the Boston cream pie at home. I was not disappointed…I was, in fact, transported to a cakey, custardly, chocolately, beautiful parallel universe. Seriously. I’m not kidding. Unreal!

Now that we have that out of the way, let me tell you what I took away from the teachings.

I talk too much. It was amazing how, when I am quiet, I can hear more, see more, smell more and feel more. I remember going for a quiet walk outside, and I noticed how loud the birds were (it’s spring in Boston…there were birds. And daffodils and tulips and peonies. And worms! I’ve never been so excited to see worms). I watched them hop around, playing and singing. Somehow, I knew they were laughing, although I can’t really tell you what a bird laugh sounds like.

Phone home. It’s good to check in with myself every once in a while, and I need to do more of that. I haven’t really visited myself in quite some time. I’m so busy doing, you know and, of course the world would stop if I didn’t compulsively check my email every 5 seconds just in case somebody needed me to do something.

Multi-tasking is hogwash. I’m done with it.

One Life. We talk about work/life balance. What does that mean? I don’t live 1 life at home and 1 life at work. I live one life, until I don’t.

Life is full of moments. An infinite number, in fact! What if I were present for all of them? I mean, reeeeeeealy there, in that moment, with all of me. What if, instead of getting all crabby in the airport security line or in traffic or when my kids are being impossibly uncooperative, and wishing I were someplace else, I embraced what was there in front of me? Like saying hello to the woman behind me in line today with the gorgeous, white, sequin-ey hat that one could wear to the Kentucky Derby (which, by the way, is on my bucket list), or having a minute to breathe. The difference between reacting and responding has become clear to me. I hope to do more thoughtful responding.

I am so grateful for the moments I have, with my kids, my parents, Fabulous Husband, my work, and myself. I’m having a great time…I’m so glad I’m finally here!

The Snowy Day

This is my version of The Snowy Day, not the Ezra Jack Keats version although that is one of my favs.  No daycare/pre-school today, so I planned to take the day off from work.  What a wonderful surprise to be in the middle of a beautiful snowstorm.  I feel like I'm living in a snow globe!  But, snow globes can make one claustrophobic, so out into the beauty we went.


And where else would one go on such a blizzardy day, but to the Zoo and Conservatory.  The free one that I love so much.  The drive over was like driving through a Christmas Card...you know, the ones with the beautiful houses with warm glowing windows, neighbors outside, snowmen and snow soft and deep all around.  We got the #1 primo parking spot, of course, because who else is as adventurous (crazy) as us to go out on a day like this?  Meena insisted on seeing the flowers first (that's my girl), then the banana trees, then the educational room where you spin the wheel to make it rain, and finally, the sloth.


Hardly anyone was there, so my 2 kiddos got to wander on their own.  It was so fun to see what they were drawn to.  The koi pond, the yellow and white orchids, the giant fanning leaves of the tropical trees, the water fountain with all kinds of shiny money and the trees with spikes growing on their trunks to keep the monkeys off I guess.  T-Mobile particularly enjoyed the turtles.  Meena correctly pointed out there were 4 and T-Mobile agreed.  Because it was Presidents Day weekend, there were all kinds of activities: bracelet making, coloring contests, and a talking parrot named Turkey.  The kids loved Turkey and giggled when she said "Hello, bwaaaak" right to them.

We saw Chloe the sloth, whose face was visible this time.  I think we startled her, because she s-l-o-w-l-y turned her head about an inch to look at us before going back to sleep.  We finished things off with a packed lunch (smorgasbord) of yogurt, raisins, applesauce blueberries, strawberries, pumpkin bread (loaded with invisible nutrition) and little peanut butter sandwiches.  (I have really fallen off the healthy eating bandwagon lately, so I needed to boast about our lunch today to make myself feel better.  It's amazing how much time there is when there isn't any timeline for the day)

We took the long way home to enjoy the Christmas card even longer and now everyone's snuggled warm in their beds.

What a perfectly peaceful and relaxing Snowy Day.

Dialogue

So, I'm driving to drop the kids off at daycare a couple of weeks ago and T-Mobile is singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" at the top of his lungs in the back seat.

Meena:  Mama, T-Mobile is singing too loud.
Me:  Did you ask him to sing more quietly?
Meena: T-Mobile, can you sing quietly?
T-Mobile:  (pause) Say please.
Meena:  Please.
T-Mobile:  OK.

T-Mobile proceeds to whisper "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".